So this is my first blog. I might as well jump on the bandwagon I guess. I don't expect anyone will read it but that's not the point to me. I'm just doing it as a way to get this crap out of my head. Theraputic I suppose. Really brief crap about me, I'm 32, female, single, no kids, law degree, currently discouraged by the law yet still slaving away in at firm working harder than they pay me. Yeah, I know you're jealous. Did I mention I'm sarcastic?

So my plan for my blog it really no plan at all. Basically whatever shit pops in my head I will write. No I will not apologise for anything I write. I was stoked to hear Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton say (in regards to papparazzi/celeb problems) "If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving, Paris is out of town not bothering anybody... and, evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue,"  Awesome. And yes I could have embedded the link to the story for your convenience but I'm lazy and you have google. Finally someone just says what they fucking think rather than edit it for Hollywood correctness. I sincerely hope he does not now redact that statement and aplologise. Why should he? He is right. Itis such a problem in the US where people cannot say what they think without being bullied into an apology. I guess that's ok since we have no right to express our thoughts freely....oh wait....

Point is, I will not be bullied into an apology. I laughed when Jessica Simpson wore a shirt that said "real women eat meat" and then fricken Pam Anderson blasts her, in her true PETA way. and called Jessica a whore or a cunt or a bitch or some bullshit for wearing the shirt. Really Pam? So let me get this straight, you can parade around in your PETA bullshit but people who eat meat can't where something supporting their belief in dietary choices? Bite my ass. It's people like Pam who fuel ignorance. I'm not saying either side is right in their belief, I am saying each has the right to state their belief, doesn't mean you have to listen or subscribe to either one. Jessica's shirt didn't attack PETA individually, it's not as if it said "Fuck PETA" it just said real women eat meat.  So what. Pam if it ticked you off go pay an outrageous amount of money for some little half shirt ,tight across your claim to fame, stating real women don't eat meat. Who cares, it's just a flippin T-shirt.

Ok I promise my blog will not be all celeb BS. In fact it was a self realization I had today that has induced me to start a blog. So with that I will end this intro blog and go to the real stuff. Oh and I'm sure i will have typo's, it's cool, get over it.

Although I only feel 25 I am in fact 32, soon to be 33. Up until 2 years ago I honestly didn't feel older than 25. After I had my mini meltdown on my 30th birthday (about turning 30) I started to realize how my thoughts and reasoning changed dramatically. Long gone were the days of manipulating, gossiping, plotting, sabotaging and all the other things party girls do in their 20's. Don't kid yourself ladies, shake your heads all you want and deny it, but you are lying to yourself if you think you were not like that. Don't be scared to admit it. It is just a part of growing up. We all were happy when that one chick you couldn't stand would get dumped, caught cheating, got a DUI, an STD or some other bullshit. We played those caddy bar games, getting free drinks, hissing at other bitches and giving the "what the fuck are you looking at" gaze while telling everyone else "I don't know what her problem is I'm just here to dance and have fun" whatever. Granted I am from a SMALL town in the mountains so it was a little more extreme but when I moved to the city it seemed to be the same I just wasn't as involved because since I wasn't from there I didn't know everyone. These realizations of my age came to me recently when my best friend and I returned to our old stomping ground. Dress casual and sitting on the deck we wacthed as all of the young 21 and 22 year old girls rolled in around 10pm dressed in skirts, heels, tight shirts and drinking a lot of the boys under the table and sober"est" one drove home. We were regulars and that was OUR bar. We never brought money because we didn't need it, there was always a boy around paying. We laughed watching the girls because we remember when that was us. Nowadays IF we go out ,we get there before 9 to avoid cover, trusty VISA in hand, watch our intake to avoid a DUI, and we leave by midnight.  We are 32 now, we know our place...out on the deck. But I digress.

Today I heard something that at first I had that snotty 20something in me giggle and then my age and reason hit me and I realized I'm growing up. It was one of those moments you see on TV when someone hears something funny and then you see it hit them when they realize it really isn't funny and almost sad.

When I was 22 I dated Jason. It was a short lived romantice relationship but what we got out of it was a really good friendship. We both knew we were not compatable as a boyfriend/girlfriend but awesome friends. About a year after we broke up we ran into eachother and he needed a roommate and I needed a new place to live so we moved in together.  It was the perfect set up. We got along very well as roommates. We each did our own thing. He oddly started staying home friday nights until I realized he did it just to watch us girls get ready because, like clockwork ,every friday at 7 my girls showed up and we got ready for the night, pre-gamed to get a good buzz and off we went. I was the party girl and  I had the party house and he loved it. Anyway, we lived together for 2 years. We went through some SHIT y'all (no I'm not southern but the word just fit) he dated a married chick who was C-R-A-Z-Y and oddly I ended up dating her ex husband. Yes Jerry Springer had NOTHING on us. But through it all Jason and I supported each other in our relationships and always stuck up for eachother as friends do. Then I threw a Halloween party which was the beginning of the end.

I invited a good friend of mine to the party. He brought this girl Heather who was OBSESSED with him. Through out the party I noticed Jason starring at Heather but I never saw them talk. I have a personal dislike for this girl as years earlier my boyfriend at the time cheated on me with her, but I never told Jason that. A few days after the party Jason said he had a date with a new chick and I was excited for him. Then I heard through the grapevine that it was with Heather. I was not happy but I didn't say anything. She knew I didn't like her. He kept it from me for awhile so I assume she filled him in on my dislike for her. Then I saw them together so it was hard to deny it. Still I never said anything to him because I just wanted him to be happy. What pissed me off was every time she called my house she was a BITCH to me and if jason wasn't home she wouldn't believe me and then have one of her friends call right back and ask for him. Dumb bitches. When he started sneaking her in the house I knew it was time for me to pack it up. Jason and I never lied to each other no matter how bad it was. Once he started sneaking her in I was done. I had already gone through HELL with one of he ex girlfriends I wasn't about to go through it again, it's not like he was family he was just a friend. So I moved and we lost touch. He came by my work a few times but I wasn't there. The girls at work said he seemed like he didn't believe that I wasn't there and was hiding from him but truly I was not there. I called a few times and left messages but I'm sure she erased them. I heard that a few years later they got married. Cool. I still didn't like her but if she made him happy that was all I wanted for him. Apparently he also became a massage therapist (this is relevant later). It's been 9 years since I moved.

Now, today I get a call from my friend who was the same guy that brought Heather to my Halloween party all those years ago. He said he has an employee who recently started working at the same place Jason works. She did not know we knew Jason. When my friend asked her how her new job was going she said good except for this creepy massage therapist named Jason who always has his hands all over the girls and has slept with 3 of the girls even though he is married. Apparently he is currently sleeping with an 18 year old. she said he has had multiple sexual harassment complaints against him but he has a relative in HR so those complaints tend to go "missing". My friend inquired about his marriage she said that he is married to a girl named Heather. Then my friend confirmed the last name and what do ya know it is my old friend Jason.

At first I laughed and thought haha fucking Heather ha fucking ha your husband is cheating on you! But then almost as fast as I laughed my 32 year old mind kicked that 22 year old response in the ass and I realized how sad I was that my good friend turned out to be a cheater. He was NEVER like that and we had several discussions over the years about how serious marriage is and how wrong cheating is. I hate that he has become that person and it saddens me. The 22 year old bitch in me is not sad for Heather but the 32 year old woman in me is sad for my friend and what he has become. I don't care if being married to her is equal to that of wanting to slit your own throat with a dull knife, if you are not happy get divorced don't cheat. Crap when did I grow up?

**names have been changed to protect the parties....or have they? :o)*********